


The Past

by The_Poptart_Cat



Series: Poptart’s separated one-shots [10]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 1000 words, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEARS!, I Don't Even Know, I REGRET NOTHING, One Shot, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, Post-Steven Universe, Pre-Steven Universe Future, Pre-Steven Universe: the Movie, Wordcount: 100-1.000, exactly 1k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Poptart_Cat/pseuds/The_Poptart_Cat
Summary: You sat on the lighthouse, reminiscing before it all happened. Before you knew about the diamonds, before all the secrets, even before your shield. Beforeeverything.Or1000 words of Steven aka you, thinking about the past.Takes place post CYM, pre SUTM
Series: Poptart’s separated one-shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052384
Kudos: 6





	The Past

You sat on the lighthouse, reminiscing before it all happened. Before you knew about the diamonds, before all the secrets, even before your shield. Before _everything._

Life was simple, or was that just you being naive? No secrets, or you thought so. No worries, at least not major ones.

It’s hard to say if any of these are true, because you can’t time travel (you did once (in another universe) but it resulted in seeing yourself die, an experience you never hoped to relive.)

Was it your fault you were oblivious? The past is in the past but it keeps coming back to the present. It keeps haunting you and making you wonder and question every decision you’ve ever made. Every little thing that’s ever happened.

  
  


What if Cookie Cats were never discontinued? What if you never had your gem glow or the shield appear? What if you never even asked to live with the gems? What if you never even _knew_ the gems?

These continued to swirl and come forth every once in a while.

Life would be different, that’s for sure.

  
  


Would life be better? Hard to say. All you know is that life without the gems would suck. Life without Connie would suck. Life without Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth would suck.

But without the gems, he’d still meet them, right?

If he lived in that exact same spot, would it be a yes for Connie? But he wouldn’t control or maybe even _know_ of his power. But he couldn’t control it then, and he knew almost nothing about gem culture.

What if he _wasn't_ half gem? Would he be human? What if he didn’t exist at all?

  
  
  


Connie would’ve been a pancake.

  
  
  


Would gems still be under the control of the diamonds? Would Rose have been in his place, or would she have hidden under the shadows of Earth?

Would Earth still be here? Would the cluster have exploded? Would Jasper have shattered them? Would Jasper even come? Lapis was needed for that.

You were the one to release her, and you know that is one thing you never have and will _never ever_ regret.

She flew to Homeworld after you released her because you and Pearl knew nothing about real ‘school’ (and it’s been years since then and Connie explained and now, it’s kinda lame sounding.)

If Rose was here, Lapis would still be in the mirror for who _knows_ how long. You shudder at the thought. The ocean gem was innocent so you can’t help but feel a bit of anger at the gem who trapped her and the one who poofed her. (You know that it’s not your Bismuth, as Lapis told you every detail she remembered and that it definitely wasn’t Bismuth.)

What if it _was_ Bismuth? They wouldn’t get along and maybe some minor things but would it really change anything majorly?

You think to yourself no, but a corner of your mind says otherwise.

What if you never let Peridot go? The planet would be in pieces.

What if Jasper was the one sent to that mission all those years ago?

You ponder for a moment. Would you have defeated her, or learned about the cluster at all?

All this cluster talk is clouding too many thought and bringing back memories of the forced fusion

(You know you and Pink both weren’t involved, but the guilt is surreal.)

What if your dad never came back for Rose?

Rose would be here and your dad might be a superstar. He has the talent, that’s for sure

If Rose was here, would her secret be out? Would the gems still be tricked and deceived?

Would the world be horrible again? Homeworld against Earth? Crystal gems again Diamonds?

You push away the thoughts of the worst things that could’ve happened.

What if you never help the gems find Peridot? What if when this did happen, you still learned about the cluster? (Aaand, your back at the cluster talk.)

Would Homeworld have even spared a second glance?

What if Rose never rebelled? You, your dad and your friends wouldn’t be alive.

Your heart aches at the thought.

You remember when you first learned you could float. You chuckle. You were so upset over a _donut._ Thinking back, it was ridiculous.

You also kept thinking you were gonna die.

If only you could go back and tell yourself it was alright.

  
  


You wish you could’ve done it.

  
  
  


It’s ironic, isn’t it?

  
  
  


You spent your whole life trying to help people and stop the diamond from terraforming anymore and now, all you do was play and have fun, but you selfishly keep on thinking back to those times. You want to help people. It’s a bad want, but it fills in a void you wish never existed.

But when it comes to others helping you, you think you're a burden.

You are after all. It’s not like they _need_ your problems.

Who cares if you just saw yourself die? Who cares if you were just kidnapped on a spaceship? Who cares if you found out your mom shattered and then you were sucked into space? Who cares if you're accused for what _she_ did? Who cares if your dad was put in a human zoo, to possibly never see him again. Who cares if your friend died _right in front of you._ Who cares if you had to leave him behind and you feel horrible about it? Who cares if you saw a gem corrupt and you did _nothing?_ Who cares if you were lied to by the gems?

  
  


Who cares if the person who was once your hero, your idol is now the person you hate the most?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


No one. That’s who.

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Why?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Because in the end, none of that matters, because it’s just petty thoughts.

  
  
  


That’s all it’ll ever be, and that’s one thing that’ll never change 

  
  


You sigh softly and float down from the top of the lighthouse and start your walk back home.

  
  



End file.
